The Case for Summarily Executing All Irrelevant celebrities

April 1, 2008

By celebrities I mean the irrelevant & talentless ones, the wastes of space. Oxygen thieves, if you will, like Spears, Lohan, Federline, Aguilera, Hilton, Richie… People of absolutely no consequence – or of use – to any of our societies.

Summarily executing these poor people in the first place would not have to be inhumane or messy at all, (although the drugged up looks of bewilderment right before the .22 slug penetrates their empty skulls would be most satisfying to me…) we could just slip them an overdose, or make them drink them selfs to death. Making such unstable people kill them selfs is not hard at all, it’s been done before.

hannibal.jpg

This upstanding man had a knack for making people kill them selfs, especially the mentally instable. And yes, I will be drinking Chianti at their funerals, in honor of his Art.

Now before I’m denounced as being a sicko hell bent on saving our culture through radical measures like summary executions of irrelevant celebrities, think of this:

Have they harmed, or benefited our children? Have they increased the level of education amongst the young, or have they decreased it? Have they been setting a good example or haven’t they?

Most rational people would want kill anyone who dared to harm their children. But I guess the pervasive doctrine of violence ONLY flowing DOWN the pyramid is, once again, sickeningly applicable here. I’d be willing to bet money when scum like Spears or Hilton commits murder, there’d be hordes of crazed followers demanding their release and a formal, written apology from the deceased person’s family.

For trying to save entire generations of people, by killing off these culturally usurpatory diseases on the spot, I would get chastised as a murderer, deemed unfit for mainstream society.

NO. I refuse to play your games! These people need to be stopped before they do more harm to… THE CHILDREN!!! Won’t someone think of THE CHILDREN!!!

Disclaimer; I do not, nor will I ever, commit, plan, or delegate [a] murder[s]. Murder[s] may have [an]adverse effect[s] on your health, freedom – and financial situation[s]. If your erection lasts longer than four hours, please consult your physician[s] immediately.

This message is brought to you, by the George Orwell Foundation for Fucking Up Annoying People & Usurpers of Common Decency©, or GOFFU&APUCD©